Parenthood Archives — truthmission.net

Do Unto Others: Part 6–Courageous

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

The world can be a scary place, no matter what stage of life you’re in. We’re all afraid of different things, and we all have our own ways of dealing with that fear.

One thing we all have in common, though, is a need for courage. Courage is the character trait that allows us to take on things that are bigger than we are. It comes from knowing that we have access to a power that is stronger than whatever it is we are facing. For this reason, the key to being courageous is making sure that we know and rely upon that power.

It all comes down to trust. It is one thing to believe that God can fight the battles that are beyond our strength. But do you trust that He will? Do you trust Him enough to keep moving forward even when it seems like a risky thing to do?

The answer to that question depends on the answer to this one. Do you believe that God wants you to succeed? I’m not talking about the Joel Osteen “I’m-believing-God-for-a-new-Mercedes” kind of success. I mean do you really believe that God DOESN’T want you to fail at life? Do you believe that He knows what’s best for you and has a plan to help you stay on track for that?

If you do, then you have either learned or are in the process of learning that obedience is the quickest path to success. This means that you pray about major decisions, and even the minor ones. Now I don’t know that it’s necessary to ask God if I should order Sprite or Root Beer at the local diner, but I wouldn’t, for example, buy a car without praying for a green light from above.

If you have established and cultivated this kind of a relationship with God, then you have also learned that fear and faith can not occupy the same mind at the same time. So when we say we “lack courage” or that “our courage has failed us,” what we really mean is that we have not been putting our faith to good use. Here is one way to make sure that doesn’t happen (or at least happens less often).

Practice trusting God with the little things. Ask Him questions about things you could typically handle by yourself and see if He leads you in a different direction. Maybe start with “Which route should I take to work today?” or “Should I get gas now or wait to fill up later?” Simple routine stuff that you do all the time that doesn’t really require “divine intervention.”

The point of this exercise is not for the Holy Spirit to save you 3 cents a gallon. It is to form the habit of trusting by essentially turning your life into a big game of follow the leader. If you trust that God won’t lead you where His grace and power won’t keep you, then you’ll keep following until it becomes second nature.

Forming courageous habits is particularly important for parents. Not only do our kids look to us as an example when they’re young, but someday they’ll be grown and won’t look to us for leadership anymore. We need to do our part to make sure they have courage of their own to lean upon when they run into their own problems. So what can we do now, those of us that still have kids at home?

Remind your kids of God’s faithfulness. Keep track of His answers to your prayers and tell those stories often.
Train your kids to seek out other godly mentors besides you. They will probably always want to come to you first, but you won’t always be around. Your kids need to know that they have some control over feelings of isolation, a control that they can carry into adulthood.
Teach them obedience. The Bible is full of examples of God giving specific instructions, such as in the verse at the top of this post. The Bible is just as full of examples of what can happen when you don’t follow those instructions. Although obedience requires surrender, there is power in this surrender, because you are setting yourself up to succeed by keeping in step with God’s plan for you.
Practice integrity by saying what you mean, meaning what you say and finishing what you start. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Trust me on this—if you fail on this one, your kids will pounce on it and use it against you at every opportunity. The result of that will not win you many spouse points either.

Fear happens. Fear of failure happens a lot. Please don’t beat yourself up when it happens to you, as though the fear of failure were a failure in itself. Don’t worry about what other people are going to think of you if you screw up. Anyone who would think badly of you for making a mistake isn’t somebody you ought to be concerned about impressing anyway.

Be strong and courageous. Follow God even if nobody is following you. Acknowledge that your hands are sweaty and that you feel sick to your stomach and move forward anyway. Not everything in life is easy or fun, but with God on your team, ALL things are possible.

The Kids Aren’t All Right: Part 6–Words Matter

Do you hear me
Do you care
Do you hear me
Do you care
My lips are moving and the sound’s coming out
The words are audible but I have my doubts
That you realize what has been said
You look at me as if you’re in a daze
It’s like the feeling at the end of the page
When you realize you don’t know what you just read. . .
Media overload bombarding you with action
It’s getting near impossible to cause distraction
Someone answer me before I pull out the plug
What are words for when no one listens anymore
What are words for when no one listens
What are words for when no one listens it’s no use talking at all
“Words” Missing Persons—1982

That song was released 35 years ago, before there were such things as the Internet or cell phones. Needless to say, things haven’t gotten any better.

In Part 5, we discussed the paradox of technology that to be totally connected in the 21st century is to be totally oblivious to the real world. Here’s another paradox. We have more ways to communicate instantly than we ever have before, yet we are losing the ability to communicate effectively day by day.

In 1984, George Orwell painted a picture of government control via the progressive destruction of the English language. By instituting Newspeak as the official language, vocabulary was systematically broken down to its most basic elements with each new edition of the dictionary becoming smaller and smaller.

Today, instead of 1984, we have The Emoji Movie, a cinematic abomination whose philosophy (if you can call it that) is summed up in one character’s quote, “Words aren’t cool.”

Consider the implications of this statement for a moment. Words are an expression of thoughts. The more profound the thought, the more words it takes to convey it. As a writer, I am keenly aware of this.

Sending emojis by text instead of speaking face to face, or heaven forbid, writing a letter, dilutes meaningful communication in a similar manner as Newspeak. Instead of connecting with another human’s mind through verbal communication, the goal now seems to be to get your point across (if you have one) with as little effort in as little space as possible.

Now I’m all for efficiency, in communication as well as other things, but this is going overboard. You don’t have to write a book when a sentence will do, but you do need to write a sentence when a sentence is needed. If a person can’t even write a coherent sentence, how would they expect to be taken seriously by anyone with intelligence?

There’s room here for a lengthy rant about spelling and grammar, but that’s not where I’m going with this (not today anyway). My concern is more about words themselves.

Because if words aren’t cool, then how much uncooler is The Word?

Think about that for a second. Two of the tenets of the Truth Mission Statement are that we strive to encourage people to discover the foundation of their beliefs and that we seek to train our youth in critical thinking and discipleship. Both of these require deep reflection and an ability to communicate. Erosion of language makes both endeavors impossible.

When I am around teenagers that suffer from depression, or even regular-sized doses of teenage angst, the common thread I hear from them is that they want to be heard. They feel that they are misunderstood and/or no one listens to them. Apparently, this is something that is common from generation to generation. What’s different today is that these kids who want to be heard aren’t able to express themselves in a meaningful way. And that’s assuming that anyone is even listening to them in the first place.

How do we overcome this and raise up a generation that not only knows how to think but how to express that thought proficiently? Don’t wait for the public school system to do its job. They have already done away with textbooks and given the kids tablets, laptops and YouTubes, so the kids can entertain themselves while the teacher plays solitaire or takes a nap.

The thing is, every time we put down our toys and pick up a book, we remember the pleasure that comes from reading, when our brain cells are roused and engaged. Some of us enjoy it more than others, of course, but it’s a very different feeling from the law-of-diminishing-dopamine that comes from being glued to a video screen.

And how much more refreshing is it when we read scripture? We were wired to respond to the Word, because as John explained at the beginning of his gospel, the Word is God. David wrote in Psalm 19:

The Law of the Lord is perfect, giving new strength to the soul. The Law He has made known is sure, making the child-like wise. The Laws of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The Word of the Lord is pure, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure, lasting forever. The Lord is always true and right in how He judges. The Word of the Lord is worth more than gold, even more than much fine gold. They are sweeter than honey, even honey straight from the comb. And by them Your servant is told to be careful. In obeying them there is great reward. (Psalm 19: 7-11 NLV)

This is what it sounds like to be undistracted. A tall order in today’s society, but not impossible.

We have God’s Word, though, always available to us. It doesn’t change, and it’s written on a page, so that if we need to hear something again (and we all do), it’s right there for us. All the answers we need, even if we aren’t sure what the question is that we want to ask. This is the user’s manual for life.

But no one, kids or adults, can find answers if they won’t look for them. No one will ever know what the Word has for them if words aren’t cool.

The Kids Aren’t All Right: Part 5–Awake

Let us then never fall into the sleep that stupefies the rest of the world: let us keep awake, with our wits about us. (1 Thessalonians 5:6 PHILLIPS)

Technology can be our friend. It created the laptop on which I am writing this, the Internet on which I posted it, the social media whereupon I distributed it, and the device upon which you are reading it. As well as many other more beneficial things, of course.

This same technology, however, can also be our enemy. It robs our productive time, pushes our dopamine buttons relentlessly, decimates our attention spans and erodes our ability to relate to one another. It seems that the more tech savvy we become, the less awake we are to the real world around us.

This phenomenon can affect any generation, of course, but kids today have never known a world without this technology. Texting is as natural to them as breathing. When new tech becomes available that might make the head of someone my age blow up, kids adapt to it instantly. It’s as though they were part machine.

What concerns me is that with all this information at the touch of a button (or a voice command—who needs buttons anymore?), an entire generation may be losing its ability to think critically. Anyone can retrieve copious amounts of information off the interwebs, but do they know what to do with it? It’s bad enough when kids fall for the clickbait. But when the generation that’s supposed to teach them how to make sense of it all is caught up with the rest of the sheeple in the fake news maelstrom? Then the kids don’t stand a chance.

Hellooooo. . .

The 21st-century paradox of technology is to be totally connected, yet totally oblivious. This needs to stop. There is a real world out here with real people in it that have real needs that we were uniquely designed to meet. God can’t draw our attention to these needs if we’re busy taking selfies instead of looking for signs.

Yes, technology is fun. There is a 99% chance that if you’re reading this, you found it by a link on social media. And obviously I spend a fair amount of time on there as well. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known where and how to post this.

The main issue is where, and how intently, we are focusing our attention. We can’t teach our children to be more aware of the world around them if we aren’t. As every parent knows, kids will do what they see us doing before they’ll do what they hear us saying.

It all comes down to self-control, really. Any intelligent adult is capable of prioritizing his or her activities. But be honest now. Are you better at planning your work or working your plan? To an unfocused person, even the planning process becomes busywork, until the planning becomes an end in itself. I’m done planning my week, so . . . TIME FOR FACEBOOK!

Staying awake and alert over the long term requires having a driving purpose or mission. Without something like that to focus on, your mind will drift. Then your body will follow, since that is where your mind is located. Before long, you’ll get to a place where you look at your life and wonder, “What happened to me? How did I end up here?”

And if you can’t figure out how your own life got off track, then how could you expect your kids, who have never had a chance to get their lives ON track, to have any kind of motivation to wake up, rise above the masses and make a difference in the world?

We have to be on our guard at all times against anything that would deter us from our main mission. For our own sakes, and for the sakes of the kids who are watching us and trying to make sense of their own lives. They’ll never understand the concept of finding their calling if they don’t first observe what it looks like to seek after it. And they’ll never be able to rise to the occasion if they can’t see that an occasion is taking place right in front of them.

Therefore it falls to us be more intentional about being awake and aware. We can’t guarantee that our children will employ self-control just because we model it. It is certain, though, that they won’t if we don’t.

(To be concluded in Part 6–Words Matter)

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The Kids Aren’t All Right: Part 4–Integrity

I am hurt and lonely. Turn to me, and show me mercy. Free me from my troubles. Help me solve my problems. Look at my trials and troubles. Forgive me for all the sins I have done. Look at all the enemies I have. They hate me and want to hurt me. Protect me! Save me from them! I come to you for protection, so don’t let me be disappointed. You are good and do what is right. I trust you to protect me. (Psalm 25:16-21 ERV)

The words of King David ring true for many today, especially teenagers. It is so easy to feel isolated and alone at that age. In many cases, these kids actually ARE isolated and alone. Sometimes it’s in their own heads, and sometimes it’s external, as a result of normal social inclusion/exclusion rites, or worse, as a product of bullying.

I notice this especially with girls. Gossip and rumor-mongering are bad enough, but today’s technological advances have made hateful talk accelerate to light speed. Couple that with this generation’s reliance upon/addiction to their mobile devices and it becomes nearly impossible to get a positive thought in edgewise between all of the notifications.

So what’s a parent to do?

I believe that it all starts with integrity. Integrity and uprightness, or honesty, is all we have left when everything else is taken away. This is true for adults as well as teens. If we lose everything–our jobs, our loved ones, our material possessions–then what is left behind?

Our character.

Who we really are behind all the masks, the social constructs, the rumors and the legends.

So who are we really? If you lost everything except your life today, what would you have left to rebuild your life upon?

If you are a person of integrity, that is, you say what you mean, mean what you say, do what you say you are going to do and finish what you start, then you have all you need. Because you are a person that others can trust and rely upon, then trusting people will do you that courtesy. If these are the kind of kids we want to have, then these are the kind of parents we need to be.

So our primary goal is to be the kind of parents whose children look to us as David looked to God in the above passage. Obviously, we are not perfect like God, but He created us in His image, which means that we have aspects of His character woven into our DNA.

When my children are up against it, I want them to know that they can look to me for help. I want them to know that I will forgive their mistakes and give them room to grow. They need to know that they have somewhere to turn when it seems like the world is crashing down on them. I don’t ever want to let them down. I want them to trust me to take care of them, even when they are older and don’t really need me to do that anymore.

But the only way I can be that kind of a father is to remember that I have a Father who does all of these things for me. And so do my kids. So it’s not really me I want them to trust, but God. His integrity is flawless and will go on forever. If I can point my kids to that, directly or through my own rudimentary example, then I will be giving them what they need to survive and overcome whatever comes their way.

(For the next step in living a life of integrity, come back for Part 5–Awake.)

The Kids Aren’t All Right: Part 3–Love is a Verb

This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you. No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends. (John 15:12-13 AMP)

Our kids’ generation is not immune from the error of past generations trying to pass love off as a feeling. Love is an action word. It is the act of sacrificing yourself for the benefit of others.

It seems the first thing to go when a child loses his or her innocence is the ability to love. Not the ability to feel, but the impulse to give sacrificially without thinking about it. I believe this is because kids in our culture are so habituated in getting that it never occurs to them to give.

Remember, a child’s “reality” is limited by his or her perception, just as an adult’s is. But the less life experience you have, the narrower your perception. Children don’t instinctively know the difference between perception and reality, so it isn’t ever going to occur to them to test their worldview.

Where this becomes problematic is if they think the world revolves around them, they will assume that to be true until they find out otherwise.

Another stumbling block for kids once they reach their adolescent years is their growing self-reliance. Growing up is inevitable, and becoming more independent is generally a good thing as one gets older. However, because kids don’t know what they don’t know, it is very easy for them to get in over their heads when trying to do something themselves.

Because they have not yet mastered their pride, it is also not routine for most adolescents to ask for help, even when life overwhelms them. Sometimes, it seems they gravitate more toward the drama of being in a mess than actually solving their problem.

I think this is why it is frequently so difficult for older kids to show love. 1 John 4:19 reminds us that we love because God loved us first. However, unless you know that, you can’t act on it. To live out a life of love effectively, you must allow yourself to be controlled by the Spirit of love.

Now when was the last time you met a teenager who wanted to be controlled by anybody? They are just reaching the stage of life when they can finally do things for themselves. Now we’re telling them NOT to think of themselves, but others? No wonder they get confused. Which cranks up the drama even more. Which throws them right back into the cycle of attention-seeking about their confusion rather than helping them move forward with solutions.

Because God is love, if you are showing love, people see God through you. The sooner we teach our kids how to look outside themselves, the easier it will be for us to help them shape their worldview into a view that actually has some WORLD in it.

(More lessons for the future generation ahead in Part 4: Integrity)

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The Kids Aren’t All Right: Part 2–Room to Grow

Grace has been defined as unmerited favor, or getting something that you don’t deserve.

One way that we can show grace to others is by simply giving them room to grow. This holds true for anybody, but especially for kids, since growing is their primary function.

It can be difficult for us as adults and parents to remember that kids are a work in progress. They aren’t where we are yet. They lack the life experience to have accumulated the wisdom that we have, and their pre-frontal cortices have not yet fully developed, which renders them inadequate to know what to do with the wisdom that they have acquired.

For this reason, I have often surmised that youth is wasted on the young. Why do they have all the energy with none of the wisdom? It seems that by the time we figure out what we’re supposed to be doing with our lives, we’re too tired to do it!

Of course, we never really stop growing. Our bodies do, but our minds shouldn’t. There is always something new to learn, as long as we don’t shut ourselves off from new learning.

As a parent, I can testify that a lot of the learning I have done in recent years involves learning to BE a parent, which in a lot of ways, includes re-learning how to be a kid.

We forget, don’t we? We forget what it’s like to learn one thing and then think we know everything. We forget the days when we used to put paramount importance on what other people thought of us. We forget that we didn’t realize that the world actually didn’t revolve around us until somebody told us so, and even then, we had to be told more than once. For that matter, we forget that we had to be told pretty much everything more than once.

Most of all, we forget all too easily how much we depended upon the approval of our parents.

So teach your children gently. Just because they may act as if they know it all, you can’t assume that they know anything you haven’t told them. Or that you’ve told them only one time. Or that you’ve told them multiple times if there was anything in the room with a video screen on it.

And please practice giving your kids room to grow. They’re not going to get things right every time. However, if you don’t encourage them by letting them know that your love isn’t conditional upon their performance, then they’ll just stop trying. Mistakes are learning opportunities for them and teaching opportunities for you.

And when you teach, you also learn.

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The Kids Aren’t All Right: Part 1–What We’re Up Against

Lord, save our children.

When did it become not OK for kids to be kids? There is hardly a child now that by the age of 14 hasn’t either cut themselves, questioned their sexuality or rejected God. Anyone that tries to lead them to Truth is labeled intolerant, hateful, an ignorant bigot, or worse.

We are even accused of trying to indoctrinate our own children, but only because our parenting gets in the way of the attempts at indoctrination by our accusers. And they want to call US hypocrites!

How fortunate then, that God already has a plan for these people. He will have the last word, as he told His prophet Isaiah:

I stop the highbrow intellectuals in their tracks,
and I show the fault of their reasoning.
But I stand behind the words of My servants,
and I accomplish what they predict. (Isaiah 44:25b-26a VOICE)

We must endure. As righteous as our anger may be toward our antagonists, we must remember these things:

In our anger, we must not sin.(Ephesians 4:26)
Vengeance is the Lord’s not ours. (Romans 12:19)
We do have a real enemy, but it is not a human enemy (2 Thessalonians 3:15, 1 Peter 5:8)

Our job is to spread the Gospel. We can’t praise the name of Jesus and sully it at the same time. If we take our eyes off of Jesus and start worrying about what other people are doing, then we lose sight of our mission. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote in his book, Strength to Love:

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence, you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence, you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

Our job is to bring the light of Jesus to a darkened world that does not know it is in darkness.

We shouldn’t be surprised when we encounter opposition to the Truth. This has been going on since day one. Jesus was crucified, the apostles were persecuted and martyred, and on and on through the centuries. There may soon come a day when preaching the word of God becomes illegal in this country, as it is in many communist and Muslim countries.

But here’s the thing. Even if they put us in prison, God’s word can not be bound. As Paul wrote in his second letter to Timothy:

Remember always, as the centre of everything, Jesus Christ, a man of human ancestry, yet raised by God from the dead according to my Gospel. For preaching this I am having to endure being chained in prison as if I were some sort of a criminal. But they cannot chain the Word of God, and I can endure all these things for the sake of those whom God is calling, so that they too may receive the salvation of Jesus Christ, and its complement of glory after the world of time. (2 Timothy 2: 8-10 PHILLIPS)

We are called to persevere under trial and not to give up. Even if we get tired and weak, God won’t. So if we trust Him to carry us when we can’t go on, He will be faithful to do it.

We must stand firm, not only for our children’s sake, but also for our own. Will you join me in praying for our youth today to be Truthseekers and not herd followers?

DN=: Part 12–Civil Liberties

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12 NIV)

I’m free to choose who I see any old time

I’m free to bring who I choose any old time

Love me hold me love me hold me

I’m free any old time to get what I want

“I’m Free” Mick Jagger/Keith Richards

One of the main functions of a father is to establish and enforce boundaries for his children. The intent of setting these boundaries is to protect his children, because he knows more than they do.

There is no condemnation in this, only a sense of love and protection. The child picks up on this, and remains content within the security of the boundary.

Now if an earthly father can manage to set healthy boundaries in love, how much more effective and useful are our heavenly Father’s boundaries! Would it not stand to reason that an omniscient God, who knows every possible outcome of every possible choice we could make, would know what’s good for us and what isn’t?

The most obvious example of this is the 10 Commandments. A lot of people are put off by them because of the “Thou shalt not” tone that most of them have. So why would a loving Father God put such restrictions on the freedom of His children?

One word—consequences.

LIBERTY DN= FREEDOM FROM CONSEQUENCES

Some consequences of violating God’s boundaries are obvious. Take for example “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” If you break that commandment, the most obvious and immediate consequence is generally the breakup of a marriage.

Long-term and indirect consequences are difficult to predict, however. We can’t know for certain how young children will be affected by the divorce—how they will cope with the sense of loss, how they will develop socially as they grow, what baggage they might carry into their future relationships and marriages.

God sees every potential negative consequence, and wants to protect us from them. Nevertheless, our nature instinctively reacts to any kind of boundary as a restriction on our freedom. Christian or not, nobody likes being told what to do, or to have their “freedom of choice” taken away.

But when you stop to think about it, this is a ridiculous notion. NOBODY can take away your freedom of choice, not even God. He’s the one who gave it to you in the first place.

Boundaries

God doesn’t set boundaries to take away our choice. He places them there to assist us in making the right choice, because he knows which choices will have good consequences and which will have bad consequences.

However, somewhere along the line our culture developed a callous disregard for sin, or crossing God’s boundary lines, and its consequences. Our culture has been brainwashed to believe that God’s boundaries, as set forth in the Bible, are out of date and out of touch with progress.

Since the Bible is God’s Word, and therefore our most definitive written source of Truth, this Truth gets dismissed along with the Bible. Inside this moral vacuum, people get the idea that they can create their own truth—a moving target that is relative to whatever suits their whims at any given moment—and anything contrary to that amorphous worldview then becomes a violation of their civil liberties.

Only here’s the problem. Since Truth is universal, and it’s found in the same place where God’s “restrictive” boundaries are, then it would follow that the consequences of crossing those boundaries are also universal.

The consequence of mentally turning sin into civil liberties is that to do so, the concept of civil responsibility is totally abandoned. You can’t be “free to do what you want any old time” and be your brother’s keeper at the same time.

Fortunately, God has a way of evening things out.

(To find out how, come back for Part 13–Fair Play)

DN=: Part 9–Brainwashing

Brainwashing (n.)

1: a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas

2: persuasion by propaganda or salesmanship

(Merriam Webster dictionary)

Listen, dear friends, to God’s truth,
    bend your ears to what I tell you.
I’m chewing on the morsel of a proverb;
    I’ll let you in on the sweet old truths,
Stories we heard from our fathers,
    counsel we learned at our mother’s knee.
We’re not keeping this to ourselves,
    we’re passing it along to the next generation—
God’s fame and fortune,
    the marvelous things he has done.

He planted a witness in Jacob,
    set his Word firmly in Israel,
Then commanded our parents
    to teach it to their children
So the next generation would know,
    and all the generations to come—
Know the truth and tell the stories
    so their children can trust in God,
Never forget the works of God
    but keep his commands to the letter.
Heaven forbid they should be like their parents,
    bullheaded and bad,
A fickle and faithless bunch
    who never stayed true to God.

(Psalm 78: 1-8 The Message)

When you see a child who behaves well in public, what is it you always say? “The public school system sure has made a great citizen out of that boy?” Or, “Our governmental programs have certainly taught this young lady how to be a good American?”

No, you say, “Their parents must have taught them well.” If the parents are present, you might thank them directly for being such good parents. Lord knows if the kids AREN’T behaving, it’s the parents you’re going to blame, right?

So if it is this obvious that everything a child is and does is shaped by the examples set by his or her parents, then why does our culture get so bent about Christian parents setting a Christian example for their kids?

School’s in session.

Education, of course, is a good thing. If we never learned anything, then we wouldn’t know anything (duh). And common sense, that is, the collective wisdom of all the I told you so’s from all the parents ever, tells us that the primary source of any child’s education is at home.

Face it; we’re all home-schooled, no matter what our diplomas say.

Our parents have us from day one, when we are completely empty glasses. From them we learn to walk, talk, eat, pee and poo where we’re supposed to. Sometimes they even teach us to read, write and count before we start school.

Most importantly our parents, and specifically our fathers, are the primary shapers of our value system, our moral compasses, our sense of right and wrong.

So is this education or brainwashing?

EDUCATION DN= BRAINWASHING

Look back up to the top at the dictionary definition of brainwashing. It’s not just indoctrination, or even FORCED indoctrination; it is forced indoctrination designed to replace one way of thinking with another.

Parents are teachers, not indoctrinators. They are filling empty glasses. A child does not yet have a way of thinking or a value system to replace.

Therefore nothing, let me say that once more for emphasis, NOTHING that a parent teaches his or her own children can possibly constitute brainwashing. This includes the passing on of Christian faith, the bedrock upon which the family has been established generation after generation.

So if giving your own children a Christian education is akin to pouring the Water of Life into their empty glasses, then by contrast, cultural brainwashing is coercing an educated person of any age to pour out their water, smash their glass, and take a deep drink from this brand new glass of fruit juice.

What do you mean it tastes like Kool-Aid?

(For an alternate beverage choice, come back for Part 10: Affirmation)