Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. (1 Thessalonians 5:13b-15)
The number one thing that should set Christians apart from the world is the evidence of the Holy Spirit working in their lives. One of the fruits of the Spirit is kindness. But what does it actually mean to “be kind?”
He started it!
If you have more than one child, or if you grew up in a house with more than one child, you have heard this one (or maybe even said it). When two kids are caught in the throes of conflict, they are less concerned with ending the conflict than with determining and/or declaring whose fault it was that the conflict began. One of my frequent lines when my boys were little was, “I don’t care who started it; I’m FINISHING IT!”
Kindness is about learning how to finish it before it even starts. Bellowing like a deranged grizzly bear might have gotten my sons to shut up and stop fighting, but it didn’t really teach them about being kind to each other or to anyone else.
To be kind is to seek peace, which is nearly impossible to do if you are also trying to get your own way. Kindness, like mercy, goes first. It was the kindness of God that moved Him to send Jesus to save us. He didn’t wait for us to be good enough to earn His kindness. He went first, putting our benefit first, with the goal of restoring our relationship to Him.
Jesus’ message about loving your enemies from the Sermon on the Mount is another demonstration of kindness:
But I tell everyone who is listening: Love your enemies. Be kind to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who insult you. (Luke 6:27-28 GW)
There is more to kindness, however, than just being nice or turning the other cheek.
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WARNING!!!
Sandwiched in the middle of the scripture at the top of this post is an admonition to “warn those who are idle.” That may not sound like kindness to some. If kindness is about living at peace with people, then why do you want to be all up in their grill when they’re just chillin’? (Can you tell I have a teenager?)
Remember that the main goal of kindness is seeking the other person’s benefit. If it would benefit the other person not to lose his job, then you are doing him a kindness by telling him to get off his lazy tuchas and get to work. If it would benefit someone to kick an unhealthy habit, break off an unhealthy relationship or not get arrested, then anything you do to prevent those things qualifies as being kind, even though it may come off as “meddling.”
Let me be clear. If you are in a position to keep someone from ruining his or her life, you are not doing that person any favors by “staying out of it.” Sometimes kindness is displayed by helping people who can’t help themselves, but sometimes, you can also show it by helping people who WON’T help themselves. That one is harder, and to be honest, it doesn’t always work out. But at least you have done your part. And, you have done something that most would not have been willing to do.
This kindness is the evidence that God is working in your life.
(To be continued in Part 2–Where Your Treasure Is)