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Love Your Neighbor: Part 2–Rights or Responsibilities?

Freedom is a word that gets thrown around a lot here in the US. Especially in an election year. ESPECIALLY especially in THIS election year. Vote for (fill in the blank) because OUR FREEDOM IS AT STAKE!!! Another word that we use interchangeably with this kind of freedom is “rights.” Our Constitution has a Bill of Rights. We have the right to do this, or not to do that. Don’t you dare violate my rights! But Christians are called to a different, I would even say higher, form of freedom. While American freedom is preoccupied with individual rights, Christian freedom is about communal responsibilities.

Loving your neighbor calls for the realization that you are part of something bigger, a member of a larger body. Within the Church, we refer to ourselves as the Body of Christ. However, any community is also a body, whether it is a household, neighborhood, city, state, or country.

No one lives in a vacuum. What we do affects others, whether we can see it or not. A HUGE problem in our society is that people have forgotten the basic principle that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Paul addressed this problem in the church at Corinth in this way:

There’s a slogan often quoted on matters like this: “All things are permitted.” Yes, but not all things are beneficial. “All things are permitted,” they say. Yes, but not all things build up and strengthen others in the body. We should stop looking out for our own interests and instead focus on the people living and breathing around us. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 (The VOICE)

Yes, we have rights. Yes, we have the freedom of speech; therefore, yes, we ought to be able to speak truth, whenever and wherever and amongst whomever we find ourselves. Technically. However…

Just because we can doesn’t always mean that we should.

Here is something you might not have considered. Even if you’re right in what you say, someone hearing it may not have a full understanding of the issue at hand. If someone questions you out of simple ignorance, you can gently educate them to build them up to where you are. However, if you argue, shout them down or otherwise dig in your heels to assert your rightness, not only are you failing to get your own point across effectively, you are also making it less likely that the other person will ask other significant questions in the future.

Furthermore, they may likely develop an attitude about you as a person, and by extension any group with which you are affiliated, that is closed off and hostile. Can you see how potentially devastating it can be when Christians behave this way? Great job Ace, you won an argument that you never should have been in (slow hand clap), and you lost a soul for the Kingdom in the process. You exercised your Constitutional right to voice your opinion, but you broke God’s commandment to love your neighbor.

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It all comes down to the question of rights. If you’re only focused on your own, sooner or later, you’re going to be depriving someone else of theirs. Rights are about exercising your freedom. However, responsibility is the freedom to lay aside your rights for the greater good, just as Jesus laid aside His divinity to come down here with us.

For example, freedom of speech is great until you say something that isn’t true, and it spreads like COVID on the Internet. By that point (and it only takes hours in this age of technology), it’s too late for an apology or retraction. The damage is done and is not likely to be undone.

For this reason, love dictates that the freedom of speech should be in submission to the responsibility to speak truthfully, and to lift others up instead of tearing them down. As Paul directed the Ephesians:

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29 (GNT)

This is useful advice in any context, but especially on social media. Here are some questions every Truthseeker should ask themselves before posting:

- Is what I am saying building up orders according to their needs?
- Do I even know what those needs are? (I.e., Did I really listen to what they were saying?)
- Have I tested my own perceptions and beliefs before questioning theirs?
- Do I for sure know what I’m talking about, or am I about to spout an opinion based on emotion rather than reasoning?
- What effect might my words have for those lurking on this post or page that aren’t directly involved in the conversation?
- What is my motivation for making this post? Am I trying to illuminate Truth or win an argument?
- If a non-believer reads this post, is it going to make them more curious to see what this God thing is all about, or will it make them say, “See, I told you those people were all ignorant douchebags.”

The best practice we can all learn is to do everything we can to widen the gap between stimulus and response. It’s easy to feel anger. It’s harder, but more beneficial, to take a breath, think things through, and respond constructively. It requires wisdom to understand that sometimes the most constructive and loving response is no response at all.

Evidence: Part 3–What Leads to Peace

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the holy Spirit; whoever serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by others. Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another. For the sake of food, do not destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to become a stumbling block by eating; it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. (Romans 14:17-21 NABRE)

The historical context of the passage above concerns a cultural clash in the early church, specifically regarding dietary laws. As Christianity spread throughout the ancient world and came into contact with diverse people and their customs, some questions began to arise.

Is it OK to eat meat? If so, what kinds of meat are OK? And what about alcohol? Should we abstain completely, or is moderation OK? We are supposed to be new creations in Christ, but what EXACTLY do we have to change?

Now if there’s one concept that a Truthseeker abhors, it’s the notion of a “gray area.” The world has a lot more black and white in it than many people are willing to admit. “Gray area” implies uncertainty, instability, ambiguity. These are not the things that a Truthseeker seeks.

Nevertheless, they do exist. Truth is universal, but not everything you encounter is universal Truth. Some things really can apply differently to different people in different situations.

A phrase I like better than “gray area” is “bullet point.” My son picked this one up when he studied at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Over the decades, Moody has sent out many missionaries to some of the most dangerous parts of the world. Many of them actually have taken a bullet for their faith. Therefore, a “bullet point” refers to an aspect of Christianity that you would literally take a bullet for. Anything that doesn’t fall into that category is up for discussion.

This is a critical concept for growing Christians to keep in mind. Everyone is on his or her own journey. That does not mean that everyone has his or her own truth. It just means that we are all in a different stage of seeking the Truth that is universal and applies to us all. A bullet point is that Jesus is the only way to that Truth, because He said as much:

Jesus answered, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father is through me. (John 14:6 NCV)

So we all have the same destination, and the same road to reach it. HOWEVER, we all started from a different place. Therefore, we all must take a different route to reach the main road. The common ground of our common destination, the peace of God, is the most important thing. Even so, we must not lose sight of the fact that everything else about us is different.

I am frequently annoyed at the overuse of the word “diversity” in our culture. Usually when you hear that word, someone is attempting to forcibly construct a false community out of a group of people based on what they DON’T have in common.

This is never necessary. No two people are alike. For this reason, diversity occurs naturally. It isn’t something that needs to be forced or promoted—it just IS.

As a Truthseeker, it seems counter-productive to go out of our way to celebrate our differences. Acknowledge them, yes, but putting the spotlight on what’s different isn’t what promotes peace. Rather, putting the spotlight on what is the same within a group of people who are OTHERWISE different is what leads to peace within that group.

So if Truth is found in the common ground, then it would follow that truth seeking and peace loving are one and the same. If you are constantly looking for ways that you are different from other people, no matter how innocent your intentions were at first, it’s all too easy to drift toward bigotry from that stance. This is because you will have made the mental shift from “us” to “us and them.”

We keep the focus on “us” by seeking out the things that make us “us.”

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Let’s take a moment to review the first two tenets of the Truthseeker Manifesto.

A Truthseeker’s objective is to end arguments, not start them.
A Truthseeker makes the most of every opportunity to learn and grow, striving to understand other points of view, with the purpose of establishing common ground.

As you can see from these, Truthseeking acknowledges that people are different, and that everyone has a unique perspective. A Truthseeker values that perspective. We are not trying to be right, or to “win” the conversation. We listen to each other’s stories to learn about where we came from to get where we are.

When we take this attitude into a conversation or a relationship, then we can acknowledge our naturally occurring diversity without making a false issue out of it. Where we came from doesn’t matter, and where we are now doesn’t even matter the most. It’s all about where we are going and how do we get there. This posture promotes peace from the very beginning. It creates an environment where you start thinking of your destination as a common one, and not just an individual one. You are not two ships passing in the night, but two voyagers seeking the same shore.

So how does this play out in our culture today?

I am going to take the point of view of a mature, or at least maturing, Truthseeker. The concept in the passage at the top that we need to focus on is to not being a “stumbling block.”

From the perspective of the Church, this includes mature Christians showing grace not only to “baby Christians,” that is, those who have just joined the church, but also to those outside the church with whom we have relationships. (Yes, you can actually do that. FRFR!)

The key points are these:

Don’t ever look down on someone for not being in the same place you are, because NO ONE is in the same place you are.
NEVER pass judgment on something that isn’t a bullet point.

These two principles can be effective in any relationship, but they are especially effective WITHIN the church. There are a lot of traditions that vary from one denomination to the next, from one church building to the next within a denomination, and even from one person to the next in a church body.

One person may have been brought up to believe that alcohol is evil. The person in the next row might have come from a background where beer is its own food group. Who’s right?

Universally speaking, if the Bible doesn’t specifically say one way or the other, then it doesn’t matter. It’s not a bullet point.

However, the main goal of Christianity is to love your neighbor as yourself (see Leviticus 19:18 and Matthew 19:19). And while it is true that offense is simply an emotional reaction to the challenging of a belief pattern, you are not walking in love if you have deliberately set out to offend.

You don’t know what you don’t know about the background of everybody you meet. If your church buddy doesn’t want to have a beer with you, or looks uncomfortable when you order a bottle of wine at dinner, this is not a sign that you need to help him “loosen up.” What if he came from an abusive home with an alcoholic father? What if he lost a friend or a child to a drunk driver?

The bottom line is that it’s not your job to “help” someone come around to your way of thinking. If they are convicted that they shouldn’t be drinking alcohol, or eating pork, or watching The King’s Speech because it’s rated R, then you must realize and accept that TO THEM, it is a sin, even if it’s not a bullet point. So rather than trying to explain your point of view, show some kindness and give up your thing for an evening to meet them where they are. You can always crack open that beer when you get home.

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If we aren’t supposed to be judgmental on non-bullet points inside the church, then how much more should we avoid judging those outside! It is foolish to try to measure someone by standards that they are not even aware of. I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone who found judgmentalism attractive. I certainly can’t think of any logical reason why a non-believer would want to consider Christianity if all they have to look forward to is having their every action scrutinized and weighed in the balance.

Now a bullet point is a bullet point, and common sense is common sense. While we shouldn’t wrinkle our nose at, say, a tattoo or a piercing, it would be another matter entirely to speak out against an extramarital affair, or the exploitation of children, for example. On these matters, we have not only the right, but the obligation to speak against these sins.

But for everything that doesn’t fall neatly on one side of the fence or the other, the path that leads to peace is the path of love. We show the evidence of this love by walking the path that emphasizes our similarities, not the things we do that are different.

(Come back for Part 4: Choose Joy!)

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Overcoming the World: Part 8–The Struggle

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:10-12 NRSV)

Back in Part 6, we discussed how fear can gradually wear us down. By maintaining a continuous level of inner turmoil, we become less effective at pretty much anything useful. Some of this mental stress comes from what we actually see and hear. Have you noticed though that sometimes what bothered you hours, days, or weeks ago still seems to have some hold over you?

Now some folks are better at letting things roll off their backs than others, of course. This is a process I am still learning myself. But I am not talking about merely having a good attitude here or learning to relax. I am talking about nagging thoughts that linger to the point where someone can be sitting still with no apparent external stimuli and be teetering on the edge of a panic attack or a ragestorm.

So what’s going on there? A psychiatrist might look at such a person, diagnose some sort of disorder, and throw a pill at it. I can personally testify that pills do help somewhat. However, like any pill, they treat the symptoms rather than solving the problem. While I do appreciate being able to face my struggles with a rational sense of calm, the struggle remains.

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So what is the real struggle?

It’s not about comfort or safety or a sense of belonging. It’s not about politics or world affairs or getting the last word in on social media.

We all have a common enemy folks. His name is Satan, which means “adversary.” He is not some made-up cartoon figure with horns and a pitchfork to scare little children. He is real; he doesn’t sleep, and his primary goal is your destruction and mine.

The devil begins his attack with fear, attempting to paralyze you into submission. If he finds that he can not make you afraid of something or someone, then he will use deception. He will try to stir up your basest emotions with things that just aren’t true. If you won’t buy an outright lie, then he will work on you with subtle half-truths. But if you are on your guard against such nonsense, then he will move on from deception to distraction. If he can’t win you over, he can at least keep you from doing good.

So why is the devil so effective at carrying out his schemes? Because most of us are unaware that he is even there. And that’s just how he likes it.

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The reality of spiritual warfare

If you are on one train of thought, and something else intrudes on that thought out of the blue, that is not the random firing of a synapse. That thought that just popped into your head didn’t just pop into your head. It was PLACED there. This doesn’t mean you can’t think for yourself. That’s what you were doing after all before your thought process was interrupted. But what will you do NEXT with this new thought? To answer that, you need to know who introduced it.

When Christians talk about receiving a message from God, it is almost never an audible voice. If it is, many times that is a sign of something else going on that is more mental than spiritual (cue the psychiatrists). More often, you will hear people use phrases such as “prompted by” or “led by the Spirit.” Sometimes this is in direct answer to prayer; sometimes it’s seemingly out of nowhere. However it happens, you can always tell that the message is from God if it is in line with scripture, illuminates the solution to a problem and leads to a good result for all concerned.

Here’s where things get sticky. Sometimes you might have a thought that solves YOUR problem but creates one for someone else. Sometimes acting on that thought leads to a result that works in YOUR favor, at least for the short term, but has far-reaching consequences that you don’t even notice. And of course, if you don’t know Scripture, then you have no way of telling if the message you are receiving is in line with God’s will as revealed in His Word.

Even worse, if you’re not aware that this spiritual influence is even happening, you probably think that the idea was your own idea in the first place. After all, no one spoke it to you out loud. But remember, you didn’t think it up yourself if you were actively thinking of something else when this new thought “occurred to you.” Satan’s easiest targets are the people who don’t believe in him. He has the easiest time influencing people who have no idea that they’re being influenced.

However, now that you have read this, you are aware and can no longer claim ignorance.

(So what do you do now? Come back for Part 9—The Armor of God)

TRINITY RANCH