Love Your Neighbor: Part 2–Rights or Responsibilities?

 

Freedom is a word that gets thrown around a lot here in the US.  Especially in an election year.  ESPECIALLY especially in THIS election year.  Vote for (fill in the blank) because OUR FREEDOM IS AT STAKE!!!  Another word that we use interchangeably with this kind of freedom is “rights.”  Our Constitution has a Bill of Rights.  We have the right to do this, or not to do that.  Don’t you dare violate my rights!  But Christians are called to a different, I would even say higher, form of freedom.  While American freedom is preoccupied with individual rights,  Christian freedom is about communal responsibilities.

 

Loving your neighbor calls for the realization that you are part of something bigger, a member of a larger body.  Within the Church, we refer to ourselves as the Body of Christ.  However, any community is also a body, whether it is a household, neighborhood, city, state, or country.

 

No one lives in a vacuum.  What we do affects others, whether we can see it or not.  A HUGE problem in our society is that people have forgotten the basic principle that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  Paul addressed this problem in the church at Corinth in this way:

There’s a slogan often quoted on matters like this: “All things are permitted.” Yes, but not all things are beneficial.  “All things are permitted,” they say.  Yes, but not all things build up and strengthen others in the body.  We should stop looking out for our own interests and instead focus on the people living and breathing around us.  1 Corinthians 10:23-24 (The VOICE)

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Yes, we have rights.  Yes, we have the freedom of speech; therefore, yes, we ought to be able to speak truth, whenever and wherever and amongst whomever we find ourselves.  Technically.  However…

Just because we can doesn’t always mean that we should.

Here is something you might not have considered.  Even if you’re right in what you say, someone hearing it may not have a full understanding of the issue at hand.  If someone questions you out of simple ignorance, you can gently educate them to build them up to where you are.  However, if you argue, shout them down or otherwise dig in your heels to assert your rightness, not only are you failing to get your own point across effectively, you are also making it less likely that the other person will ask other significant questions in the future.

 

Furthermore, they may likely develop an attitude about you as a person, and by extension any group with which you are affiliated, that is closed off and hostile.  Can you see how potentially devastating it can be when Christians behave this way?  Great job Ace, you won an argument that you never should have been in (slow hand clap), and you lost a soul for the Kingdom in the process.  You exercised your Constitutional right to voice your opinion, but you broke God’s commandment to love your neighbor.

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It all comes down to the question of rights.  If you’re only focused on your own, sooner or later, you’re going to be depriving someone else of theirs.  Rights are about exercising your freedom.  However, responsibility is the freedom to lay aside your rights for the greater good, just as Jesus laid aside His divinity to come down here with us.

For example, freedom of speech is great until you say something that isn’t true, and it spreads like COVID on the Internet.  By that point (and it only takes hours in this age of technology), it’s too late for an apology or retraction.  The damage is done and is not likely to be undone.

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For this reason, love dictates that the freedom of speech should be in submission to the responsibility to speak truthfully, and to lift others up instead of tearing them down.  As Paul directed the Ephesians:

 

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.  Ephesians 4:29 (GNT)

 

This is useful advice in any context, but especially on social media.  Here are some questions every Truthseeker should ask themselves before posting:

 

    • Is what I am saying building up orders according to their needs?
    • Do I even know what those needs are?  (I.e., Did I really listen to what they were saying?)
    • Have I tested my own perceptions and beliefs before questioning theirs?
    • Do I for sure know what I’m talking about, or am I about to spout an opinion based on emotion rather than reasoning?
    • What effect might my words have for those lurking on this post or page that aren’t directly involved in the conversation?
    • What is my motivation for making this post? Am I trying to illuminate Truth or win an argument?
    • If a non-believer reads this post, is it going to make them more curious to see what this God thing is all about, or will it make them say, “See, I told you those people were all ignorant douchebags.”

 

The best practice we can all learn is to do everything we can to widen the gap between stimulus and response.  It’s easy to feel anger.  It’s harder, but more beneficial, to take a breath, think things through, and respond constructively.  It requires wisdom to understand that sometimes the most constructive and loving response is no response at all.

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Evidence: Part 3–What Leads to Peace

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the holy Spirit; whoever serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by others.  Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another.  For the sake of food, do not destroy the work of God.  Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to become a stumbling block by eating; it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.  (Romans 14:17-21 NABRE)

 

The historical context of the passage above concerns a cultural clash in the early church, specifically regarding dietary laws.  As Christianity spread throughout the ancient world and came into contact with diverse people and their customs, some questions began to arise.

 

Is it OK to eat meat?  If so, what kinds of meat are OK?  And what about alcohol?  Should we abstain completely, or is moderation OK?  We are supposed to be new creations in Christ, but what EXACTLY do we have to change?

 

Now if there’s one concept that a Truthseeker abhors, it’s the notion of a “gray area.”  The world has a lot more black and white in it than many people are willing to admit.  “Gray area” implies uncertainty, instability, ambiguity.  These are not the things that a Truthseeker seeks.

 

Nevertheless, they do exist.  Truth is universal, but not everything you encounter is universal Truth.  Some things really can apply differently to different people in different situations.

 

A phrase I like better than “gray area” is “bullet point.”  My son picked this one up when he studied at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.  Over the decades, Moody has sent out many missionaries to some of the most dangerous parts of the world.  Many of them actually have taken a bullet for their faith.  Therefore, a “bullet point” refers to an aspect of Christianity that you would literally take a bullet for.  Anything that doesn’t fall into that category is up for discussion.

 

This is a critical concept for growing Christians to keep in mind.  Everyone is on his or her own journey.  That does not mean that everyone has his or her own truth.  It just means that we are all in a different stage of seeking the Truth that is universal and applies to us all.  A bullet point is that Jesus is the only way to that Truth, because He said as much:

Jesus answered, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father is through me. (John 14:6 NCV)

So we all have the same destination, and the same road to reach it.  HOWEVER, we all started from a different place.  Therefore, we all must take a different route to reach the main road.  The common ground of our common destination, the peace of God, is the most important thing.  Even so, we must not lose sight of the fact that everything else about us is different.

 

I am frequently annoyed at the overuse of the word “diversity” in our culture.  Usually when you hear that word, someone is attempting to forcibly construct a false community out of a group of people based on what they DON’T have in common.

 

This is never necessary.  No two people are alike.  For this reason, diversity occurs naturally.  It isn’t something that needs to be forced or promoted—it just IS.

 

As a Truthseeker, it seems counter-productive to go out of our way to celebrate our differences.  Acknowledge them, yes, but putting the spotlight on what’s different isn’t what promotes peace.  Rather, putting the spotlight on what is the same within a group of people who are OTHERWISE different is what leads to peace within that group.

 

So if Truth is found in the common ground, then it would follow that truth seeking and peace loving are one and the same.  If you are constantly looking for ways that you are different from other people, no matter how innocent your intentions were at first, it’s all too easy to drift toward bigotry from that stance.  This is because you will have made the mental shift from “us” to “us and them.

 

We keep the focus on “us” by seeking out the things that make us “us.”

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Let’s take a moment to review the first two tenets of the Truthseeker Manifesto.

  1. A Truthseeker’s objective is to end arguments, not start them.
  2. A Truthseeker makes the most of every opportunity to learn and grow, striving to understand other points of view, with the purpose of establishing common ground.

 

As you can see from these, Truthseeking acknowledges that people are different, and that everyone has a unique perspective.  A Truthseeker values that perspective.  We are not trying to be right, or to “win” the conversation.  We listen to each other’s stories to learn about where we came from to get where we are.

When we take this attitude into a conversation or a relationship, then we can acknowledge our naturally occurring diversity without making a false issue out of it.  Where we came from doesn’t matter, and where we are now doesn’t even matter the most.  It’s all about where we are going and how do we get there.  This posture promotes peace from the very beginning.  It creates an environment where you start thinking of your destination as a common one, and not just an individual one.  You are not two ships passing in the night, but two voyagers seeking the same shore.

 

So how does this play out in our culture today?

 

I am going to take the point of view of a mature, or at least maturing, Truthseeker.  The concept in the passage at the top that we need to focus on is to not being a “stumbling block.”

From the perspective of the Church, this includes mature Christians showing grace not only to “baby Christians,” that is, those who have just joined the church, but also to those outside the church with whom we have relationships.  (Yes, you can actually do that.  FRFR!)

The key points are these:

  1. Don’t ever look down on someone for not being in the same place you are, because NO ONE is in the same place you are.
  2. NEVER pass judgment on something that isn’t a bullet point.

These two principles can be effective in any relationship, but they are especially effective WITHIN the church.  There are a lot of traditions that vary from one denomination to the next, from one church building to the next within a denomination, and even from one person to the next in a church body.

One person may have been brought up to believe that alcohol is evil.  The person in the next row might have come from a background where beer is its own food group.  Who’s right?

Universally speaking, if the Bible doesn’t specifically say one way or the other, then it doesn’t matter.  It’s not a bullet point.

However, the main goal of Christianity is to love your neighbor as yourself (see Leviticus 19:18 and Matthew 19:19).  And while it is true that offense is simply an emotional reaction to the challenging of a belief pattern, you are not walking in love if you have deliberately set out to offend.

You don’t know what you don’t know about the background of everybody you meet.  If your church buddy doesn’t want to have a beer with you, or looks uncomfortable when you order a bottle of wine at dinner, this is not a sign that you need to help him “loosen up.”  What if he came from an abusive home with an alcoholic father?  What if he lost a friend or a child to a drunk driver?

The bottom line is that it’s not your job to “help” someone come around to your way of thinking.  If they are convicted that they shouldn’t be drinking alcohol, or eating pork, or watching The King’s Speech because it’s rated R, then you must realize and accept that TO THEM, it is a sin, even if it’s not a bullet point.  So rather than trying to explain your point of view, show some kindness and give up your thing for an evening to meet them where they are.  You can always crack open that beer when you get home.

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If we aren’t supposed to be judgmental on non-bullet points inside the church, then how much more should we avoid judging those outside!  It is foolish to try to measure someone by standards that they are not even aware of.  I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone who found judgmentalism attractive.  I certainly can’t think of any logical reason why a non-believer would want to consider Christianity if all they have to look forward to is having their every action scrutinized and weighed in the balance.

Now a bullet point is a bullet point, and common sense is common sense.  While we shouldn’t wrinkle our nose at, say, a tattoo or a piercing, it would be another matter entirely to speak out against an extramarital affair, or the exploitation of children, for example.  On these matters, we have not only the right, but the obligation to speak against these sins.

But for everything that doesn’t fall neatly on one side of the fence or the other, the path that leads to peace is the path of love.  We show the evidence of this love by walking the path that emphasizes our similarities, not the things we do that are different.

(Come back for Part 4: Choose Joy!)

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Overcoming the World: Part 5–As Far as it Depends on You

 

Constantly rejoicing in hope [because of our confidence in Christ], steadfast and patient in distress, devoted to prayer [continually seeking wisdom, guidance, and strength], contributing to the needs of God’s people, pursuing [the practice of] hospitality. Bless those who persecute you [who cause you harm or hardship]; bless and do not curse [them].  Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].  Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty [conceited, self-important, exclusive], but associate with humble people [those with a realistic self-view].  Do not overestimate yourself.  Never repay anyone evil for evil.  Take thought for what is right and gracious and proper in the sight of everyone.  If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  (Romans 12:12-18 AMP)

 

(Note: This post was originally published immediately following the 2016 presidential election.)

Well, the election’s finally over, and as expected, it has stirred up more issues than it has settled.

 

As is usually the case, Truthseekers were at a loss throughout this election, since Truth and politics are generally not found in the same place at the same time.  Some of us voted defensively, some of us searched in vain for a viable third party candidate, and some of us just stayed home.  Now that what’s done is done, we’re all asking ourselves the same question.  “What do we do now?”

 

Well, the answer is the same thing we’ve always done.  Seek Truth in the common ground.  But how do you find common ground in a nation so divided?

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I covered a lot of this during the last election in the Us and Them series.  However, since it seems to me that strife and discord have been amped up significantly this time around, I would like to focus on the concept of peace and the part we have to play in it.

 

We are called to hate what is evil and cling to what is good.  In a climate such as this, I would suggest that we focus on the clinging to what is good part.  It’s too easy when emotions are running high to go from hating WHAT is evil to projecting that righteous hatred onto people, which is the line we should never cross.  If the news is raising your blood pressure, watch something else.  If your “friends” on social media are stirring the pot with their ignorance, get off Facebook and go put your face in a book.  Better still, put your face in THE Book.  Remember, all evil things will eventually pass away, and the good will remain.  So why expend our energy on things that won’t last?

 

We aren’t supposed to judge people anyway, but we REALLY need to get past this judging people by whom they voted for.  I think most of us can agree that there were no good choices this year, so why should we judge someone else’s choice?

 

That person you’re angry at because he or she voted differently than you and is venting about it on social media—who was that person to you before the election?  Did you respect him or her then?  So why not now?  No one’s inherent worth is diminished by a single ballot.  Remember that.

 

A Truthseeker’s objective is to end arguments, not start them.  It is not our place to try to inject moral superiority into the discussion.  For this reason, I urge patience above all.  Resist the temptation to “correct” people, even if they are obviously wrong.  When people are angry or upset, the lids of their minds are fastened tightly, and you aren’t going to reach them anyway.  Pray for peace and reason to return to our society, and wait patiently for this to pass, because it will.  Dust can’t settle if you stir it up.

 

Look for ways to be kind to people.  The needy are still needy, so don’t forget them.  Let wherever you are be the “safe space” where discussion of politics doesn’t have to happen.  There are so many other things to talk about.

 

Don’t take the bait when some fool on the internet calls you out, directly or collectively, for how you voted and/or the motivations behind your vote.  Justice is God’s job.  If they have it coming to them, they will receive it in their due time.  This is a good opportunity to practice forgiveness.  After all, our sins are forgiven to the degree that we forgive.

 

I don’t really know that there were any “winners” in this election, but there are many who will lose.  I am not suggesting that the criminal element of our society that would riot and destroy and call it a “protest” should be treated with compassion and understanding, but there are many people who stand to lose something dear to them in the upcoming administration.  Be compassionate while they grieve their loss.

 

Make the most of every opportunity to establish common ground with people, preferably face to face.  Listen to their stories.  See people as individuals and not as members of a group.  Come alongside people in their difficulties.  Focus on solutions rather than problems.  Above all, pray first, and listen carefully for an answer, before presuming to dispense wisdom.  When tensions run high, even the most well meaning of advice can be perceived as an attack.

 

And PLEASE avoid the temptation to seek revenge, whether in word or deed.  That is NEVER our job.  It is natural to feel some sense of satisfaction when the times shift in your direction after they have been against you, but it is not our place to rub anyone’s nose in their own misfortune.  You will never earn someone’s respect by spiking the football.  Just hand it to the official and go back to the sideline.  Justice is God’s job, and part of that is righting wrongs.  It will happen in His timing.  Don’t force the issue.

 

Most importantly, it is up to you to make the first move toward peace.  You will have to use your best judgment with each individual you encounter as to whether that means actively extending an olive branch or remaining silent.  Things are going to be ugly for a while.  They may get out of control for a time as well.  You have a choice to make it better or make it worse.

 

You may not be able to single-handedly fix what’s broken in our nation, but how you treat other people is one thing that you CAN control.  So stand firm, pray hard, and keep hoping for the best.  It WILL get better eventually.

(Next up, Part 6–Internal to Eternal)

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DN=: Part 15–Homophobia

 

Homo-  Greek prefix meaning “same”

-phobia  from the Greek ‘phobos’, meaning “morbid fear or dread”

 

(A phobia is defined as)  a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational.  In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely, the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities. Edmund J. Bourne—The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook

       

So taken literally, to be homophobic should mean to be irrationally and  constantly in fear of being the same, to the point of avoiding conformity even when there is no direct threat to your individualism, and if that conformity proves unavoidable, submitting to it would reduce you to a quivering lump of Jell-O.

 

The word “homophobic” was invented by psychologist and gay activist George Weinberg in the 1960’s.  It first appeared in print in 1972, when the American Psychiatric Association still considered homosexuality a mental illness.

 

An actual phobia, on the other hand, IS a mental illness.  It is a form of anxiety disorder that frequently requires psychiatric intervention to overcome.

 

Now if a person were to freak out being in a room full of homosexuals, perhaps due to a fear that gayness is contagious, and was unable to function for the rest of the day as a result of that trauma, then yes, THAT would be a phobia.  Specifically, a form of xenophobia.

 

I don’t know any Truthseekers who behave that way.

 

Therefore, I call B.S.

CHRISTIANITY DN= HOMOPHOBIA

 

Since a Truthseeker’s habit is to push the boundaries of his or her comfort zone, fear has no opportunity to enter the equation.

 

For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. (2 Timothy 1:7 HCSB)

 

Because fearfulness and sound judgment cannot occupy the same mind at the same time, a Truthseeker could not conceivably hope to correct behavior from a position of fear.  This makes the suggestion of a Truthseeker being homophobic, even if that were an actual word, a logical impossibility.

 

The irony here is that the correction that is inspired by God’s love, which drives out fear, is the very thing that the “=” community regards as being homophobic.

 

Because of this, some may ask, “What gives you the right to go around ‘correcting’ people anyway?”  Actually, it isn’t a right so much as it is an obligation:

 

“Do not hate your brother in your heart.  Correct your neighbor boldly when he does something wrong.  Then you will not share his guilt.

“Do not try to get even.  Do not hold anything against one of your people.  Instead, love your neighbor as you love yourself.  I am the Lord. 

(Leviticus 19: 17-18 NIrV)

 

Notice that “Do not hate” is followed immediately with “Correct your neighbor boldly.”  Hatred and correction, then, are clearly opposites.

 

Therefore, it follows that the absence of correction where it is needed would indicate the presence of hatred.  It does not matter whether one actually FEELS hateful or not; it is the actions, or lack thereof, that make the difference.

 

For this reason, correcting the behavior a homosexual, or that of any other sinner, is an act of love based upon sound judgment. It is not an act of hate stemming from bigotry and judgmental criticism.

 

Nevertheless, there is still one more hurdle to overcome.  It is the nature of all humans, not just homosexuals, to reject correction.

 

Our pride makes us become defensive when our belief systems are challenged.  Frequently the first method of defense that we use is to deflect the correction back at the corrector.  Basically, we sweep our own faults under the rug while attempting to drag our neighbor’s faults out from under the same rug.

 

When Truthseekers are on the receiving end of this defense mechanism, they usually find it accompanied with another H-word.

 

(Which we will explore when this series concludes with Part 16–Hypocrisy)

DN=: Part 8–Hate Speech

 

 

Be clearheaded. Keep alert. Your accuser, the devil, is on the prowl like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  (1 Peter 5:8 CEB)

All of humanity has a common enemy—Satan, the accuser.  The enemy’s primary goal has always been our destruction, but he has been busy developing some new tactics.

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First to review, you’ll remember that in Part 3, we identified “righteousness” as being a right standing with God the Father, which is made possible only through a trusting relationship with His Son, Jesus.  Those with whom the enemy succeeds in denying this opportunity for righteousness will nevertheless still crave it.

 

However, since they have allowed themselves to be cut off from God’s saving grace, they are only able to manufacture a false perception of righteousness.  In their desperate attempt to elevate themselves in their own minds, they find themselves compelled to disparage others in order to make that possible.

 

The enemy facilitates this process by helping those under his influence categorize people into groups and label them.  Then he directs his unwitting followers to abuse the people in those groups by treating them unequally and criticizing them based on their differences.

 

Over time, these blanket condemnations become a habit, and hatred develops.  If left unchecked by correction, it is possible for this hatred to swell into an epidemic of ignorant bigotry.  This bigotry will then be projected toward the groups of people to whom they are trying to maintain their sense of superiority.

 

Combating this is a struggle we all share.  And it is indeed a daily struggle.  Seeing other people as individual human beings, instead of part of a labeled subset of humanity, requires a generous helping of both humility and critical thinking.

 

Knowing this, our enemy imparts his unwary abettors with a liberal dose of arrogance, which suppresses all traces of humility and artificially inflates their perception of their own intellect, eliminating the prospect of any critical thought taking place.

 

This is where the enemy plays to his greatest strength.  He advises his impressionable followers, “If you can’t convince ‘em, accuse ‘em!”

 

And this is how it plays out.

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When one of these people attempts to engage a Truthseeker in debate, he quickly discovers the futility of this venture, since the primary objective for Truthseekers is to end arguments, not win them.  Since the arguer finds that he cannot claim the logical high ground, he will then attempt to lower the ground beneath his opponent by attacking his character.

 

But here is the twist!  Since unwarranted character assassination would make him guilty of judgmentalism, he must first deflect his own guilt by accusing the Truthseeker of being judgmental himself, thereby forcing him into a defensive position.  With any luck, the Truthseeker will take the bait, lower himself into the argument, and thus become that which he has already been accused of being.

 

On the other hand, a mature Truthseeker will not take the bait, but will simply hold fast to the Truth, and not change course.

 

When the arguer sees that his attempts at both logic and character assassination have failed, he plays the only card left in his deck by attacking Truth itself.

 

He does this by labeling the Truth “hate speech.”

 

DEFENSE OF TRUTH DN= HATE SPEECH

 

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The irony of this concept of “hate speech” is that the people most commonly accused of hate speech are in actuality the ones most commonly on the receiving end of it.

 

For centuries upon centuries, Christians have put their trust in the eternal God, in his indisputable and unchanging Word in which He is revealed, and in His universal promises and plan for all of mankind.  In a world where people follow after every wind of change, no matter how ludicrous, we build our lives on the solid rock of eternal unchanging Truth, passing it down from generation to generation.

 

But instead of a fixed and eternal rock, our faith is now portrayed by our degenerate culture as an ignorant and hateful tradition.  We are even demonized for faithfully carrying out our most important responsibility as parents, the passing on of our faith to future generations, with the charge of “indoctrinating” our own children!

 

If parents should not be the ones most responsible for helping to frame the basic worldview and shaping the character of their own children, then who should?  The enemy has some ideas about that.

 

(And you’ll hear all about them if you come back for Part 9—Brainwashing.)

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